Fight to the death: Pyro vs XPac
by Psycho's Rage
Summary: Just like the title suggests, it is a battle between: the maniac Pyro and some dude named X-Pac. Who is the winner? You'll have to read to find out.


Rage: We own nothing and still can't seem to be free of Vince.  
  
Vince: It's a lifetime contract. So, don't expect to be free anytime soon. Now go make me a club sandwitch.  
  
Psycho: While we figure a way out of this and Rage goes makes Vince a club sandwitch. Here's a fic you can enjoy.

---------  
  
_::X-Pac walks to the office of Psycho and Rage.::  
_  
X-Pac: You wanted to see me about something?  
  
Psycho: Yes, we have brought you here to tell you that we do have a job for you to do.  
  
X-Pac: What? Really?  
  
Rage: Naw we just brought you out of the Abyss area where all other non- important muses go when we don't need them that much. Yes, you get to do something.  
  
Psycho: You get to have a match with Pyro.  
  
X-Pac: Well finally after all that time I get to have a match...wait who is Pyro?  
  
_::Pyro walks in. Clicking a lighter in hand and then creates a flame skull.::  
_  
Pyro: Me mate.  
  
X-Pac: You gotta be kidding me.  
  
Rage: Afraid not. Now get to training the both of you. Next week is your match at the Muse World Arena. C'mon Pyro...I'm your trainer.  
  
_::Rage and Pyro run out of the office a training montage begins and 'Eye of The Tiger' Begins to play::  
_  
Day One - Pyro and Rage are running along the side walk. Wanda walks by and Pyro looks at her and runs into a pole. Rage shakes his head.  
  
Day Two - Pyro using his fire to make all kinds of shapes and make a fire Donald Trump. Rage shakes his head.  
  
Day Three - Rage instructs Pyro to help a kitty get down from a tree. Pyro set the tree on fire then looks at Rage for aproval. Rage Shakes his head.  
  
Day Four - Rage and Pyro are dressed in Disco clothes playing checkers. The look at the readers and realize that they're watching and run off.  
  
Day Five - Dave Chappelle is slapping Pyro in the face while repeating, "I'm Rick James Bitch!" Rage shrugs.  
  
Day Six - Pyro and Rage are running along the side walk. Amara walks by and both Rage and Pyro look at her and run they both run into a pole. Rage hold his head.  
  
Day Seven - Rage and Pyro are fighting with light sabers.  
  
_::Montage ends and Rage and Pyro run back into the office::_  
  
Rage: I think he's ready for the match today...  
  
Psycho: It's not until next week...you've only been gone for seven hours.  
  
Pyro/Rage: D'oh!  
  
Pyro: Let's get back to training.  
  
Rage: Alrighty then.  
  
_::Jim Carrey comes in dressed as Ace Ventura::  
_  
Ace: I heard that there is some puppies being mistreated here.  
  
Randy: Who are you?  
  
Ace: _::pulls out a badge that says, Ace Ventura Pet Detective.:: _Ace Ventura.....Pet Detective.  
  
RVD: No this dude cannot take my puppies away.  
  
Psycho: Rob, you're not even paying any attention to them.  
  
Rage: Besides that you're always high.  
  
Pyro: That's true.  
  
_::Ace moves his head around like he hears something that the others can't. He walks over to the closet on the other side of the room. He opens it up to reveal the box of puppies. He bends down and starts talking to them in a baby voice.::  
_  
Ace: Who's a good puppy? Yes you all are. _::a puppy bites him::_ Alrighty then. _::his face shows pain now:: _Ooowww.  
  
RVD: My puppies shall not be stolen!  
  
Ace: Well maybe my good friend Dan Marino will change your mind?  
  
_::Dan throws a football at RVD and sends him flying out the window::_  
  
Psycho: This is going to be a long week.  
  
Rage: I have no time for shenanigans...no time!  
  
Pyro: I know...now let's train! _::Rage and Pyro jumped out the window to go train::  
  
::Psycho shakes her head and head off to go train X-Pac.::  
  
::Amasingly a week went by with only a few major fires that Pyro 'accidentally' made. Which Scott was happen to do his job since he was getting bored. X-Pac had almost got his foot bit off by a crocodile at the zoo. Psycho and Rage had gotten into a light saber fight. It's now the night at for the match. There was already a crowd gathereing at the Muse World Arena and most of the seats were filling up.::_  
  
X-Pac: When you said arena I though you meant like where sports like wrestling and hockey are held at. But not like the arena that the ancient Greeks had.  
  
Psycho: Yeah well you never asked that this match will be Gladiator style.  
  
_::Russel Crow stands up in the crowd dressed in his Gladiator clothes::  
_  
Russel Crow: Did someone call?  
  
Rage: NO! Go away!  
  
_::Russel Crow walks away with his head down::  
_  
Rage: Now without further whatever that word is...LET'S GET READY TO GLADIATE!!!!!!!  
  
_::Logan runs onto the battle field dressed as a clown and he wasn't looking too happy::_  
  
Psycho: What the hell are you doing here..dressed as a......clown?  
  
Logan: Rage told me that this was my job. You knoow...I'm a Gladitorial clown. Kind of like a rodeo clown...........there's no such job is there?  
  
_::Everyone shakes their heads 'no' except Rage who is trying to sneak away::  
_  
Logan: I'm gonna kill you...  
  
Rage: Heh, heh.....::Runs away and Logan chases him::  
  
Psycho: Well then.... _::a mike appears in hand:: _LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. TONIGHT AND TONIGHT ONLY IS THE FIGHT OF THE CENTURY OF MUSE WORLD. IN THE RED CORNER WE HAVE OUR OWN PYROMANIAC, PYRO AND IN THE OTHER CORNER IS THE PANSY, X-PAC.  
  
_::The crowd cheered for Pyro then went silent once X-Pac was announced.::_  
  
Psycho: NOW PANS..ER...X-PAC AND PYRO CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON.  
  
_::Sabu walks out with a cart of lots of weapons hanging off of it. He stops in front of both of them. X-Pac picks out a bow and a quiver of arrows. Pyro picks out a huge scythe. Sabu then walks back into storage area of the Arena.::  
  
::Orlando Bloom dressed in his Legolas outfit stands up in the crowd.::_  
  
Orlando: He shouldn't be allowed to have the weapon of an elf.  
  
_::Nightcrawler stands up next to him::_  
  
Kurt: Ja!  
  
RVD: Heh, heh...you're name starts with Lego...  
  
_::They all shook their heads::  
_  
Psycho: Fine... _::Psycho takes the weapon away from X-Pac:: _Is that better? Will you sit down now?  
  
Orlando: Yes it is and yes I will.  
  
RVD: Hey...do people ever come up to you and say, 'hey Lego dude, go build me a Lego car?'  
  
Orlando: _::Sniffles:: _...yes.....yes they do. And it makes me cry because they don't say please and that's a common curtisy when I come from.  
  
RVD: Geez...I didn't want your life story.  
  
X-Pac: Hey this is no fair. He has a weapon and I don't get one.  
  
Psycho: _::shrugs:: _Well I can't please everyone now can I?  
  
Pyro: _::swings sycthe around:: _C'mon ye bloke. I don't have all day...er night to finish this.  
  
X-Pac: _::starts to throw a temper tantrum like a little two year old:: _But I want a weapon and I want one now.  
  
Rage: _::runs by and stops:: _Here you go ya big sissy. _::hands him a switchblade::  
  
_Logan: You can run but you can't glide. _::Rage takes off and Logan soars past with a glider strapped on his back and is still following Rage::  
  
_Psycho: Happy now?  
  
X-Pac: A little but it will do for now.  
  
Psycho: It better.  
  
_::Then Mills Lane, the ref from Celebrity Deathmatch appears.::_  
  
Mills: _::looks at Pyro then at X-Pac:: _The rules are that there are no rules. It's a free for all battle and the last man to be standing wins. Now let's get it on.  
  
_::Psycho runs and jumps into the stands which she is now sitting between Sean O'Haire and Cain Marko a.k.a. Juggernaut.::  
  
::We see an anouncer's table with The Professor and Antonio Banderas acting as the announcers.::_  
  
Prof: Well hello and ESPN...and due to copyright laws it's pronounced 'ESPEN'...I'm your battle announcer along side my broadcasting parter Antonio Banderas.  
  
Antonio: I am Antonio Banderas....and I am muy sexy....  
  
Prof: Why do you talk like that?  
  
Antonio: I am a very shallow and desperate person who puts down others to build up his own fragile self esteem...  
  
Prof: Perhaps we'll never know...now let's get down to the action.  
  
Antonio: This fight is broadcasted in LD.  
  
Prof: Don't you mean HD...you know High Definition?  
  
Antonio: Has the baldness gone to your head Chuck...this is no High Definition! The readers can't even see what's happening...this is Low Definition.  
  
Psycho: Yeah that's right you sure showed him Antonio.  
  
Sean: Why did you just say that? You're only giving him high.. (RVD: Hehe...you said high...) self esteem.  
  
Psycho: _::faint blushes:: _Well because it is true that the readers can't see what's going on....and oh my god what the hell did Pyro just do down there?  
  
Cain: Looks like he just about slashed X-Pac's right arm off.  
  
Prof: And X-Pac just barely missed that downward slash from Pyro.  
  
Antonio: Yes and X-Pac went and cut into Pyro's shirt almost breaking skin.  
  
_::X-Pac and Pyro seem to be going at it very seriously. Even Pyro is actually serious for once. Pyro runs towards X-Pac but trips over an actual rock falling onto his face. X-Pac walks up to him and kicks him in the side. Then he stabs Pyro in the arm. Pyro trips X-Pac and all seems lost until....::_  
  
Prof: Looks like it's all over for this X-Pac character.  
  
Antonio: It looks like the end is near for him.  
  
_::Pyro goes to swing the scythe down and everyone is waiting to see what happens....::  
  
::A knock on the door wakes X-Pac up. He went over to a mirror that's in his room to notice that nothing was missing or wrong with him. He went and opened the door to reveal that it was James the butler from Angel.::_  
  
James: The masters request to see you now.  
  
X-Pac: Masters?  
  
James: Yes, Pyscho and Rage.  
  
X-Pac: Finally, they need me for something.  
  
_::X-Pac walks to the office of Psycho and Rage.::  
_  
X-Pac: You wanted to see me about something? _::thinks to himself:: _This seems awefully familiar.  
  
Psycho: Yes, we have brought you here to tell you that we do have a job for you to do.  
  
X-Pac: What? Really?  
  
Rage: Naw we just brought you out of the Abyss area where all other non- important muses go when we don't need them that much. Yes, you get to do something.  
  
Psycho: You get to have a match with Pyro.  
  
X-Pac: Well finally after all that time I get to have a match...wait who is Pyro?  
  
_::Pyro walks in. Clicking a lighter in hand and then creates a flame skull.::_  
  
Pyro: Me mate.  
  
X-Pac: _::suddenly realizes his dream is reality now:: _NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
The End..........?

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Psycho: God, you have to hate deja vu. Also, we were running out of ideas that's why the ending ended up like it is right now.  
  
Rage: Well that was pointless.  
  
Psycho: Hush it was a good idea at the time.  
  
Rage: But then it ended up being weird.  
  
Psycho: Weirdness is good though.


End file.
